The Art of Reconciliation: Only Courageous People can Master It

Have you ever been in an argument with a friend, or a loved one, or a family member?

Has that confrontation led to a broken relationship?

If YES:

Did you ever try to reconcile?

Maybe you did. But it still didn't work out. Why? Because sometimes letting go of a relationship is much easier than letting go of your pride. Isn't it?

No, that's not true. Come on Nams,  how can you expect me to go and try to reconcile with a person who did me dirty, who hurt me?

Come to think of it, Ikr, it makes sense and it's completely understandable. But here's the thing that most of us including myself failed to understand. Whenever you get into an argument with someone, this is what happens. You either end up getting hurt or you end up hurting the other person. If you get hurt then Oh my god, it's a big deal.  But, you hurt the other one, then it means that you were just doing the right thing but the other person is too sensitive to handle it. Eh'

What I mean to say is, I've had many arguments and disagreements with my friends. Whenever we tried to reconcile it made the situation much worse. I would constantly try to prove why I was right and why my feelings mattered and the other person would do the same as well. I just couldn't understand why we couldn't reconcile and reach any conclusions. And to be quite honest, it's actually very disheartening to trade so many broken relationships to finally realize that,

"Reconciliation is a two-way street" 

It's not about trying to prove why I am right but trying to understand why the other person could be right. It's not about solely blaming the other person as the reason for my broken heart but also rethinking my actions that could have caused the reaction by the other. It's not about blaming the other person for feeling the way they feel but about empathizing with them.

Now, I know, It's human nature to feel ashamed of accepting our flaws, accepting that we are wrong and accepting that we sometimes hurt others. That is why we are wired with pride and ego which again sometimes is much valuable than accepting our wrongdoings. Therefore, reconciliation is definitely not as easy as it sounds. It takes up great courage to accept your mistakes and apologize and it also takes great courage to forgive the wrongdoer. 

Just try to understand what I'm trying to highlight, 

"ACCEPTANCE" and "FORGIVENESS" is what it takes to reconcile.

Now, let's look at what the Bible says about Reconciliation.

Colossians 3:13

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you"

Not only the Holy Bible but the scriptures of all the religions basically carry the same message. That is,

"Compassion, love, and forgiveness should be part of everyone's daily lives"

So, as the scriptures say, make it a part of your life. If you've been hurt then open your heart for forgiveness. If you know you've done wrong, then accept it.

I know, you might feel, "if the other person doesn't do it then why should I?"

You should because you must believe in god and good. You should because empathizing with the other person and accepting that you could be wrong and accepting and giving forgiveness, you make and maintain peace not only with the other person but also with God and yourself.

And finally, you should because you are a peacemaker, not a peacebreaker.

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